Take care of yourself

Many people find it difficult to say no. The inner grumble of not wanting to do something is therefore easily covered up when someone is around you Please asks - after all, it's not that much that is being asked, and somehow it will be fine Valves. But in the end you might think: it was actually all too much. Then it's time to think about yourself too.

Pay attention to the inner voice

• Ignoring your own needs and adjusting almost exclusively to the needs of other people can make you sick at some point. You should therefore not ignore the inner voice, which may barely audibly warn you to say no once in a while.
• However, taking care of yourself in this way is easier said than done. Because saying no can feel like breaking a relationship. Simply rejecting another person who asks for help may not fit your self-image at all.
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• Then it is time to change that self-image. And some form of communication to find that you can live with the "no" without constantly having to worry about a guilty conscience.

Change your own self-image

• If you have very high expectations of yourself, you may find yourself lifelong chasing after those expectations. So it is better to stop and take a look in the mirror: There you see a person with rough edges, with strengths and weaknesses. Maybe also someone who is happy to be there for others. But definitely not one who can save the world. Or other grown people in front of themselves.


I'm being taken advantage of - this is how you do it

Here one more thing to do for someone else, there another quickly for someone ...

• You should also make one thing clear to yourself: the more you support others and immediately jump in when someone only the word "help" breathes - the more you deprive other people of the opportunity to yourself help. As if you didn't even believe that the other person could solve his problem himself. This can make the other person feel like they are being made small and considered incompetent.
• Paying attention to yourself and your own (limited) strengths and needs therefore often goes hand in hand with paying attention to other people and their own problem-solving skills. Whom you put a lifebuoy in front of the Feet throw, may forget that he can swim himself.
• Check out what happens when you turn down a favor. It is possible that no misfortune happens at all and the other person will solve his problem in a different way.

Communicate to the outside what is inside

• If you are torn between yes and no, then this is your word. For example, tell the other person that you would like to help them. And that it is too much for you at the moment and overwhelmed you.
• Avoid using the word "but". Do not say: "I would like to, but ...". With the little word "but" you reject the other person and their concerns. You'd rather say "and": "I would like to - and at the moment it's too much for me." That shows your inner dilemma.
• To resolve this dilemma, you can make a suggestion yourself. For example, offer your support at a later point in time when it is more convenient for you. Or offer to fulfill part of the request - as you can do it yourself. In this way you express appreciation for both the other and yourself.

Anyone who constantly feels overwhelmed by others should put up with the critical question of what they are contributing to it. And value his own needs more.