Hate and love at the same time
Hate and love seem to be two opposing emotions. In a relationship, however, they can both appear. This is true when you sometimes idealize your partner and devalue it again in other situations. Your own self-confidence plays an essential role here.
When you are in love or live in a partnership, expectations of the other always play a role. love is not completely altruistic, not completely altruistic, but you also want your partner to behave in a certain way. Perhaps you like your partner precisely because of their characteristics. Affection therefore depends on conditions. If these conditions are not met, love can decrease or turn into more negative feelings.
Love and dislike depend on one's self-esteem
Especially people who are reluctant to be alone and have little confidence in themselves or who dislike themselves tend to project a lot onto their partner. Runs the relationship just good, then an idealization ensues. This means that you no longer see the negative sides of your partner at all.
- In bad times, however, this can tip over. So do not find the relationship beneficial anymore; then the partner is devalued. In a sense, love can turn into hate.
- Because normally a person has both positive and negative qualities. Everyone is particularly good at one thing and bad at another; everyone is benevolent at times and not on other occasions.
- When falling in love, the negative is usually hidden and devaluation, on the other hand, hides positive characteristics. When you hate someone, the whole person seems "bad" to you.
- Your self-esteem means how much you like yourself, whether you feel valuable and attractive. So if you often have doubts about yourself or are very shy, you tend to quickly switch from love to aversion in the partnership. The result is frequent disputes because problems cannot be discussed objectively.
For many people, love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. When a man is a woman ...
What to do when infatuation and hatred exist?
If love and hate alternate over and over again, there are recurring phases in the relationship that go well and particularly bad. A small dispute can lead to escalation and so be on the one hand Conflicts not fully discussed and on the other hand criticism is immediately perceived as something very personal and hurtful.
- Here it helps if the partner who experiences these changing emotions does something for himself. Because he should work on his self-confidence so as not to become a "victim" of his own contradicting emotions.
- So what do you like to do? What do you enjoy? Who else can you count on (outside of the partnership)? Invest time in your interests and hobbies and build friends by doing things with others. The partner should not be the center of your life.
- In this way, you can gradually become more independent of your partner and thus also gain more serenity. This helps to ensure that you do not feel inferior so quickly when there is an argument and that love does not suddenly turn into hate again.
- Also, if you have trouble reaching out to others, practice contacting them. You can do this, for example, by asking others for little things (for example, to tell you the time, to explain a way to you). This makes speaking to others a habit and less frightening. This also gives you more self-confidence and allows you to enjoy your partnership better.
