Live openness in the partnership
Openness and honesty in communication are important for a partnership. Openness doesn't mean that you always know everything your partner does or thinks. Rather, an open relationship with one another means honestly exchanging ideas about one's own feelings.
Not all marriages or partnerships last until "death do them part". Many relationships break up beforehand. This is not always due to irreconcilable opposites. Even small misunderstandings in communication can build up serious conflicts in your partnership - especially when one's own feelings are not honestly communicated and instead the other becomes a target.
Communicate honestly in a partnership
- Communicating honestly isn't just about not lying to others. It is equally important that you express what you really mean in your words. This can be very difficult as it requires a process of self-reflection - emotional openness doesn't just fall from the sky.
- For example, if a statement from your partner makes you "mad" inwardly, you should not immediately "hit back" with words. Rather, listen to yourself for a moment and try to name the emotion you are feeling. Then you can z. B. say: "I'm just really angry".
- In the second step, you can try to explain to your counterpart where this anger comes from. Even if you don't know this, naming your own feeling is honest and gives the partner a chance to respond.
- Most importantly, you avoid translating your emotion into a direct reaction that becomes a new attack. This often ends up in an endless loop of mutual accusations.
- An example: You have an evening meeting with your partner at the cinema. In the afternoon she calls and says gushingly that she met an old friend in town. She spontaneously arranged to meet her for the evening because she is leaving the next day. You are angry and disappointed that the evening at the cinema is canceled. Instead of expressing this feeling, say: "You always only think of yourself!" - "That's not true at all, the other day I... and you did ..." - it could go on like this.
- If you instead state your disappointment, your partner would not feel attacked and would not have to justify herself. Instead, you could respond to your disappointment. Perhaps she will then make you a "compensation offer".
Hardly anyone leaves their partner with a light heart. Especially when children ...
Too much openness can be exhausting
- Talking about your own feelings with such openness is not a matter of course and takes some practice. If you do not always succeed, you should not be disappointed - just keep trying.
- On the other hand, too many frank words can also be exhausting. In a relationship it is completely legitimate for everyone to have their secrets, small or large. Not every new partner wants to hear from you details about your past partners - even if you may be of the opinion that an exchange about this helps avoid old mistakes.
- The degree of honesty and openness you live in your relationship ultimately depends on you and your partner or Your partner. If one of you has the feeling that something is wrong here, you should address this. So you can negotiate together how much openness and honesty you want to live - and where one gets the feeling that the other has no trust.
Honesty is a key element in a partnership. Small falsehoods are therefore not forbidden. However, each partner should try not to turn his heart into the famous murderous pit.
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