"My friend is much older than me"

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If your boyfriend is much older than you, that doesn't have to be a problem, you should just be clear about a few things, then this can also turn into a good and long relationship.

Family planning can become a problem.
Family planning can become a problem.

Which means "much older" with friends

  • The older you are, the greater the actual age difference must be between you and your friend if you perceive it as "he is, much older than me". At the age of 4 the 6 year old is much older, at 16 you perceive 24 as much older and at 40 you would probably only consider 50 or more to be much older. So it doesn't depend on the actual age difference.
  • So if you are very young and have a boyfriend 4 or 5 years older than you, you can be sure that in a few years you will no longer think, "My boyfriend is much older than me". The problems caused by the age difference diminish significantly over the years. Maybe he'll go to the disco until after midnight while you have to be home by 10 a.m., problems like this go away on their own.

You see sometimes you just worry too much about the subject: "My boyfriend is much older than me".

Real problem when the friend is older.

  • There could be a problem with family planning because if he's already 30 and you're only 24, then he might want kids soon while you're a long way from that. You should discuss this in good time and in peace.
  • Often there is also the problem that it is at the beginning of a love it is pleasant when the seasoned older friend shows you life. But that prevents you from having your own experiences. Think about whether and how much of your own experience you would like to forego. Make it clear to your friend that you are young and that there is a lot that you don't know, but that you want to learn most of it yourself.
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  • On the flip side, if he's significantly older than you, you'll also have to compromise. Often he is in professional life, has a career and that has priority. Or he is simply not physically fit enough to dance the night away with you. One thing to keep in mind when you think about the subject of "My friend is much older than me" is that he is aging unlike you, his vitality can deteriorate very quickly and suddenly he can no longer be physically with you keep up.
  • It is also very important that your friend already had a life at a time when you were not yet born. He had experiences during this time and his character was already shaped back then. Studying when he was young will help you understand him better. Never say that you don't care because it was before your time, you don't want him to feel like you are by your side as a fossil.

Many couples who have lived happily together for a long time have a large age difference, so it doesn't have to be a problem if your boyfriend is much older than you. As you can see from the Heesters couple, even age differences over 45 years do not necessarily cause problems.

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