Formulate a problem question or ask solution-oriented questions
Problem questions aim at the past due to the way they are formulated. A classic way of formulating such a question is to start with "why". Anyone who hears these question particles may immediately have the feeling that they have to justify something. With solution-oriented questions, however, a different perspective is adopted.
Solution-oriented questions aim to find solutions to a situation that may just not be visible yet - but are already hidden in the situation. Only those who make it a habit to introduce a question with "why" instead of "why" will usually provoke different reactions from the other person.
Formulate fewer problem questions
- While problem questions tend to be directed towards the past, solution-oriented questions tend to be aimed at the future or the future design of a situation.
- If a question is introduced with "why", for example, then the person asked often feels asked to look for reasons in the past for his behavior.
- The question of what someone did something sounds very different from the question of why they did this and that. Because the question particle "why" aims at the intention, not at the reasons.
- It also focuses more on the future. Because the intention behind a behavior often has to do with what it is supposed to ensure for the future.
- Instead of formulating a problem question, you can also ask about exceptions to the problem in a solution-oriented manner. This does not focus on the problem, but rather on a situation in which the problem did not occur or did not occur so severely.
You know the common saying that this is the whole point of anything ...
Ask for exceptions to the problem
- For example, if someone can find it difficult to motivate themselves to study before an exam, then the question about the exception would aim to find or respond to a situation. to describe in which this was once different or not so bad. How exactly was the situation different when there was some motivation?
- The exact analysis of the exception to the problem not only puts it in the background, but also approaches for action can be found to make the problem less severe or less frequent.
- An important solution-oriented question is also the miracle question. Here the question is asked which changed behavior can be used to identify that the problem is no longer there - if it miraculously passed overnight.
Formulating problem questions can make a problem even worse. On the other hand, anyone who asks in a solution-oriented manner is already on the way to the solution.