Should i break up?
Hardly anyone leaves their partner with a light heart. Such a decision should be carefully considered, especially when children are affected. However, if the marriage or partnership is only upheld by convention, then it may be a better choice to separate amicably. Because this opens up at least the chance for everyone to find a new happiness in love.
The decision to separate is often preceded by a very long deliberation process - which in some cases never comes to a conclusion. The obstacles to implementing such a decision can be of various kinds.
Separate from your life partner
If you have a separation from your partner seriously, then you should be honest with yourself as well. Find the causes of the failure of the relationship just on the other hand, then you may soon be faced with a similar heap in your next relationship.
- So take a moment to calm down and consider what exactly the occasions and circumstances are that make you think of a breakup. You may come to the conclusion that right from the start you had doubts about the relationship, which have only grown stronger. It can also take courage to admit that a relationship has been badly starred from the start.
- However, it also takes courage to identify your own parts of why the relationship is not going as it should. If one partner tries, for example, to "educate" the other so that he finally behaves as desired, this can make the other think more and more of "fleeing".
When to break up
A separation is usually preceded by a sufficiently high level of suffering, at least on one side. But even if there is repeated violence in a relationship, that does not mean that it is easy to break up.
When cups and plates fly through the air, when you just ...
- In particular, the hope that things can get better and the fear of being alone can bind partners to each other who should better separate. If you are in such a situation yourself, it can be helpful to look at it from the outside like a third party.
- In order to try such an outside perspective, you can put two cards on the floor, each representing a partner in the relationship. You stand on a third card, which you place at a point with sufficient distance.
- Then try to describe what is happening in the relationship from the perspective of a neutral third party. You do not speak of yourself in the first person, but in the third person ("she").
- Make sure that you only describe, but not evaluate. So don't say, "He's always so inconsiderate," but rather, "She wishes for [XY]. He did [YZ]. "In doing so, you might realize, for example, that he has no knowledge of what you want.
- Then think about what a neutral third party might advise the couple to do. Even if you get to parting better in the neutral position, it may still be time to do a couple counseling beforehand.
Separation from your spouse or partner is usually not an easy decision. However, when the psychological stress gets too high, a relationship should not be sustained by convention alone.
